Remember The Name: AKA The Zodiac Rhapsody
by The Character's Death
Summary: Inspired by the final chapter of Princess Unicorn123's story "FRUITS BASKET-Truth or Dare." Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket and can't own Akito Sohma...because Kon13 says so. WARNING LABLE : "Warning - hilarious to the point of tears - DO NOT consume hot beverages while reading! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!"
1. Akito, The Boss

**Okay. First of its kind for me. Here is a parody rap (though I had to classify it as a poem) playing off of the final chapter of Princess Unicorn123's story "Fruits Basket:Truth or Dare." The concept clearly comes from her, with a slight twist. If you enjoyed this AT ALL please review her work. She truly is the mad genius behind this.**

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Listen up, bitches, the name's Akito,

I'm a real big playa and I'm lookin' fo hoe-ohs.

I'm the boss, yea they all fearin' me,

Cause I'm stratchin' out eyes and spittin' in tea.

The name's Aktio, but you betta call me Sama,

Cause I be stealin' kidz candy and taken bananas.

I scarred Yuki for life, just for laughs,

The Sohmas do what I say or they be facin' my wra-hath.

So get it in yo heads, all you bitches and hoes,

I'm yo doom, and the name's Akito.


	2. Shigure, The Novelist

**The continuation of this particular…well…okay. I am not sure what this is. But it is continuing for the time being in honor of one of my guest reviewers, niyah. Thank you for your support and encouragement to continue…though…you may find yourself regretting you had asked.**

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I'm beginning to feel like a novelist-novelist

All these hoes be screamin' these words be sexist-sexist

While that be true, they know they be the bestest-bestest

And my prose aint novel but they be the best shit

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**A/N: If I ****_didn't_**** say that these words were inspired by "Rap God" by Eminem, then I am pretty sure he would come and find me...**


	3. Kureno, Who?

**Okay, I hope you guys don't get board with these as they come out. Am truly trying to be as entertaining as possible. Let me know if I am trying too hard! **

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No one knows who I am, much to mah dismay

'Cause they fo-got mah face in the damn anime

If you foos could read, you'd know mah name

But that's aight, everythin' be okay

I still role with Akito 'cause he be a fine lad-ay

So you can stick that up yo ass…Shigure…


	4. Ayame, The Party

**...and we keep on rollin'...**

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When I be cruisin' down the boulevard in my Maserati,

Everyone be starin' at me like 'that homeboy crazy'

Jus' 'cause I be bumpin' "Barbie Girl" with my main man Gure

And we be screamin' at these bitches like we actin' all gay

Now you know I got a style that you can't disrespect

I got swagger up the ass and my look be so fetch

And when I walk into them clubs you all be hittin' the deck

'Cause I be shakin' my ass like a damn etch-a-sketch

So if you wanna roll with me and this amazin' posse

Just hit up all them clubs and you know where to find me

I be the one in the middle, the one looking sexy

And everyone will be around 'cause I'm the life of the party


	5. Momiji, The Bunny

**Okay...this one is for the Unicorn Princess. A gift to you, from the High Queen of...humor?**

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You may think that I'm cute, that's just the game that I play

I got the smile, got the charm, that make them ladies just faint

Like putty in my hands, these bitches just be diggin' me

'Cause I be the real deal, I aint no energizer bunny

That mo-fo aint got nothin' on me

'Cause I be goin' all night like UPS runnin' up an' down the coast

So all ya hatah's just keep hatin' 'cause I'm the man with the most


	6. Hatori, The Doctor

I can be yo doctah

Girl, let me be yo doctah

There ain't no need to hallah

You can call me like an operatah

'Cause I be the grandmastah

And yo body be a fine disastah

So swing those hips jus' a bit fastah

While them other boys hallah back atchya

Girl, I ain't gonna try n' dis ya

All I really wanna do is jus' kiss ya

So open up fo an inspection

Girl, let me be yo lethal injection

Then give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation

'Cause that's how I be operatin'

With these wicked rhymes that I be layin'

And I know it's what you really be cravin'

So lay back and let me do some savin'

While this roof gone done an' caved in

But mah place is where we gonna be stayin'

'Cause I think this song about to be endin'

While you and I jus' beginnin'

So let's get this aftah party on rollin'

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**A/N: We all know who the real doctor is...and he is now 'in the house.'**

**...in your face, Dr. Dre.**


	7. Yuki, The Prince

**I have noticed a few people rapping in their reviews. This...pleases me greatly. Leave your review in rap form if you dare. I will display them on a segment of my profile page. If it is awesome enough...it may make its way into one of my raps, with full credit give. **

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There he go again jus' talkin' that shit

'Bout these amazin' lyrics I spit

He say I'm so gay my rhymes be on the rag

Then he had the nerve to toss me a pad

What the ass don't know, he gonna need it more

When I use his face to wipe up this floor

'Cause he lackin' in looks

And he lackin' in style

While all them pretty ladies comin' at me for miles

There be a few reasons the ladies lovin' me

Think about it hard, yeah you know what I mean

So in the end, he know he gonna lose

'Cause I jus' be too perfect not to choose


	8. Haru, The Pimp

**This one goes out to Princess Unicorn123, who is taking a leave of this site. I hope you see this, and it makes you smile. Remember, no tears little one, no tears. Go bravely into the bright outside world, and know that I will be here if you need me.**

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Listen up ladies let me tell ya how it be

There be two very clearly different sides to me

I'll say ma'am to yo mom

Make friends with yo dad

I be the best boyfriend that ya evah did have

When I'm in the right mood I be white as snow

I'll take ya out to dinnah and then to a show

I treatchya like a lady

Be openin' doors

And at the end of the night I be given ya a rose

But listen up bitches cause that's not where this ends

'Cause ya bettah believe I aint here to be friends

I'm kickin' ass

Yeah I'm takin' names

When my mood done gone black I aint playin' no games

I be startin' up fights with someone I don't know

'Cause he look at me funny and he be an asshole

One two three

He be down on his knees

So ya bettah jus' remembah there be two sides to me

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**A/N: Thank you all for your support**,** love, and amazing reviews! Keep on rapping to me, and I'll rap right back to you!**


	9. Now, A Word From Our Sponsors

**A/N: This is to thank you all for your love and support of this rap segment. Thank you for your reviews. For your love. For your support. I could not do this without you. So...thank you. And, without further ado, play "Applause" by Lady Gaga. Turn up the volume, and enjoy the show!**

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The Character's Death walks onto the stage as the music begins to cue up, dressed in a black studded mini dress with knee-high black leather heals, paired with matching spiked wrist bands and a leather choker. She strikes a dramatic pose as a light show begins to flood the stage. She flashes you all a black painted smirk, jutting a finger in your direction, shaking her hips.

_I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong  
To crash the critic saying, "Is it right or is it wrong?"  
If only fame had an I.V., baby could I bear  
Being away from you, I found the vein, put it in here_

The Character's Death begins to do a slow pageant princess circle on the stage as she raises one hand in the air, the other resting on her hip, waving to you all as the lights flash all over the stage.

_I live for the applause, applause, applause  
I live for the applause-plause  
Live for the applause-plause  
Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me  
The applause, applause, applause_

Pausing in the middle of the stage, The Character's Death begins to shaker her hips to the music.

_Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights on)  
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)_

The Character's Death jumps to the rhythem of the music, raising her arms in the air clapping.

_Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights on)  
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)_

She continues to jump in time with the music, clapping, then breaks into epic head banging.

_(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch_

Dropping low to the ground, she slowly straightens back up, continuing to shake her hips.

_I've overheard your theory "nostalgia's for geeks"_

The Character's Death juts a finger to you all, acknowledging all the readers of fanfiction . net while she continues to shaker her hips.

_I guess sir, if you say so, some of us just like to read  
One second I'm a Koons, then suddenly the Koons is me  
Pop culture was in art, now art's in pop culture in me_

She does another slow circle around the stage, waving to you all, the smile spreading across her painted lips.

_I live for the applause, applause, applause  
I live for the applause-plause  
Live for the applause-plause  
Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me  
The applause, applause, applause_

Stopping in the center of the stage, she begins to jump enthusiastically to the music, the light show in full swing.

_Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights on)  
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)_

She raises her arms in the air, clapping to the music.

_Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights on)  
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)_

Head banging to the music, she drops low, swinging her hips in time to the music.

_(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch_

Moving a hand dramatically across her face, fingers spread; she casts her gaze to the ground, rocking her body to the music.

_Ooh_  
_Touch, touch_

_Ooh  
Touch, touch now  
Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo  
Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo  
Ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo  
Ooh-ooh_

Doing a final circle across the stage, she waves to all of you, blowing a kiss of affection to all of you who have supported her through everything, adoring you and your love and support.

_I live for the applause, applause, applause  
I live for the applause-plause  
Live for the applause-plause  
Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me.  
The applause, applause, applause_

Jumping to the music, waving a hand in the air, the light show takes over for the finally.

_Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights on)  
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)_

She continues to jump to the rhythm of the music, clapping her hands together above her head.

_Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights on)  
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)_

The Character's Death rocks it out, swinging her body wildly and head banging to the music.

_(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch (make it real loud)  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud  
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch_

She does a final swing of the hips to each letter, as the music finally comes to an end.

_A-R-T-P-O-P_

The Character's Death takes a bow, waving to all of you in deep thanks and gratitude as she saunters off the stage.

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**Now...back to the regulatory scheduled shenanigans. **


	10. Kyo, The Ass

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated, as with every Kyo appearance, to my dearest friend A Soulless Poet. Hope you all enjoy, and God Bless Canada!**

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So I tried to be a part of somethin'

Reminded I'm another nothin'

In this game made fo fools

Tryin' to play by all the rules

But rules be made fo losers

In a losers game

So I say screw it

And I

Be throwin' away the name

Y'all know they can't hold me

Though they wanna try an control me

But y'all know where I be at

And y'all know they can't touch that

So let me hear ya ladies hollah

From Japan to the Canadian bordah

Unless ya got a shock collar

Then go ahead and shut yo lips

And lemmie see ya work out those hips

'Cause ya know jus' what I be needin'

And I got all these ladies jus' pleadin'

Fo the end that they really be needin'

Though it true I might be a bastard

In the end I be rockin' it hardah

And I'm the one who gonna take it farthah

'Cause I'm the one who end up with her


	11. Ritsu, The Disastah

**A/N: As promised, if your rap reviews are exceptional, and tickle my fancy, I will incorporate them somehow into this segment along with posting them on my profile page. So...here is a rap review that I found to be above and beyond. And many thanks to all of you who have rapped back to me. Keep it up, and I will rap back to you! Let's keep this going, people!**

_The Character's Death I'za lovin' yo rap  
And that pool o' inspiration in which ya tap  
So I ask as I always do for all me fave stor-iies  
will you continue oh please oh please!_

_-xXLollipopsxlovexmeXx_

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If you wanna be with me

I tell ya one thing now

I be the one regret

That you nevah live down

I'd apologize now fo the way that I am

But that'd be déjà vu

'Cause I gone done it again

I be freakin' at these bitches

Fo the dumb shit I do

An be apologizin' to em'

Fo callin' em' bitches, too

Damn, gone done it again

Some days I jus' can't win

It's a cycle with no end

But I tell ya how it begin

Hookin' up with me

You know you guaranteed

A lifetime of regrets

With many an apology


	12. The Gangmo Lifestyle

**Two things were recently brought to my attention. One: I am way too white to be Gangsta. Two: I am way too happy to be Emo (despite my typical writing that causes you people to cower into small dark corners sobbing like babies). But, as luck would have it, I have come up with a solution to these...setbacks. If I can't be a Gangsta, or Emo, then I really have no other choice than to take matters into my own hands and create a new clique. I am now classifying myself as Gangmo, a brilliant infusion of thug mentality mixed with deep seeded emotion. And, with these 10 easy steps, you too can live out the Gangmo lifestyle. Keep it real, people, even when the rest of the world refuses to do so.**

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10 hot tips on how to rock the Gangmo lifestyle:

1. Drive it like you stole it, despite the fact that you paid cash and own it outright.

2. Roll with your windows down and your system up while smiling like an idiot, you may just make someone's day.

3. Hug freely, hug often, do it now.

4. Listen to heavy metal infused with hip hop, because either one alone is not nearly as epic.

5. Fantasize about tattoos you know you will never get because of your indecisiveness and low threshold for needles and pain.

6. Avoid drugs for the same reason.

7. Use sarcasm frequently, just to mess with people's minds.

8. Never _ever_ start a fight, but always be ready to finish one.

9. Make sure to have at least one homey.

10. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em…and if they won't let you join, create your own group.

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**A/N: Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.**


	13. Kisa, The Mute

...

...

...word, yo.


	14. Hiro, The Gangsta

**So, I have just now realized that I have been writing this segment without a proper rapper name. But...again...as luck would have it, I have found a solution. Hence forth, you shall all address me by my rapper name, "Grandmastah Giggles". Thank you, Princess Unicorn123, for the name.**

**This rap goes out to Kon13. Thanks for being my shawty! Everyone else...be jealous. **

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Damn it feels good to be a gangsta,

Rollin' with mah shawty in mah gangsta ass ride.

'Cause she be given everythin' that I be needin',

While we jus' rollin', windows down n' flyin' high.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta,

Wind at mah back n' mah shawty at mah side.

While them other gangsta ass foos jus' be trippin',

'Cause none of em' got a shawty fine as mine.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta,

Kickin' ass, bustin' caps, so say goodnight.

'Cause ya know I don't keep mah shawty waitin',

When that gangsta ass be lookin' mighty fine.

I said _damn_ it feels so good to be a gangsta,

So hallah back at me. One. Last. Time.

'Cause _damn_ it feels so good to be a gangsta,

Me an' mah shawty be gangsta ass fo life.

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**A/N: I feel like some credit and recognition should be given to the song, "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta" by Geto Boys.**


	15. Rin, The Lay-day

When I be comin' in them clubs all eyes be on me

'Cause I aint no Britney Spears or no Katy Perry

I be the kinda shawty Usher talkin' about

When he say he wanna lady that make him scream 'n shout

Yeah that's what you know I be talkin' about

You wanna mess with magic, jus' come my way

We be rockin' from the night until the light of day

Come in this perfect storm and lemmie run mah course

'Cause you know I ridin' in jus' like Imma Dark Horse

So lemmie be yo shawty or yo Aphrodite

And know their aint no goin' back when you rollin' with me

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**A/N: Songs that inspired this rap are as follows, in no specific order. Thank you to the artists for their inspiration.**

**"Yeah" by Usher**

**"Dark Horse" by Katy Perry**

**"Scream And Shout" by Will . i . am featuring Britney Spears**


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